All my life I have considered myself a tomboy. Others have too. I grew up with brothers and we were thick as thieves. I wrestled, played in dirt, digging for worms, (even ate one) watched transformers and voltron and thundercats and G.I.Joe... I made my mom cry on more than one occasion. She shed tears every time the pretty dresses she put me in were ruined by mud or every time my dad found one of the expensive barbies she bought for me buried in the back yard with its hair chopped off.
Funny thing is, I have always had a girly side. When my brothers left me out, I did girly stuff.. I watched Jem and the Holograms or Rainbow Brite. I even had a barbie head that I hid from my brothers and use to comb her hair.
As I got older, my tomboy really shined through. I became an athlete, even went to the extreme of dressing in super baggy jeans and tommy hilfiger golf shirts and hoodies everyday. I started listening to hip hop and fell in love. Had a whole crew of guys that I hung with and one close girlfriend.. I was teased and talked about quite a bit from guys and pretty girly girls. They didn't get me. I became very defensive of my ways, feeling like I will never give in to them and be a girly girl...if I wanna wrestle or hoop or smack boards I can and if you don't like it fuck off.
As the years passed I acquired more female friends. I paid close attention to them and their attitudes and styles and confidence and insecurities. I studied what seems to make them feel good and what seems to make them sad. I began to learn more about me from watching them.
For years and years they people have tried to get me to embrace my femininity, telling me "mimi, throw on some heels girl!" or "girl if I had your hair my shit would be laid!" ... the funny thing about this is I have always embraced my femininity! I love being a woman! I think we have so much power and our complexity is mind boggling... I love being a mommy and a wife and I love that we are allowed to be strong and sensitive at the same time. I never understood why people would say that to me and never tried to understand why until now.
I now realize that those who love me said that to me because they saw thru my tough exterior and knew that on the inside, I'm just a girl...
Thinking back over the years, I realize that as each one passes, I have slowly and subconsciously let go of my own self imposed restrictions.. I am no longer in my boy box and I have recently reached a point where its ok to be girly and I find I am enjoying it...I cry at movies now and don't wipe my tears before someone sees me. I am starting to leave the sneaks behind from time to time and put on some heels..I'm even wearing Pink!! LOL..
Anyway, sorry for the rambling, just noticed lately I'm really feeling my feminine side! Thanks to my girls who encouraged me to be me with words and those of you that inspire me with your actions...love yall!
Happy Monday to you all!!!
-Lala
7 comments:
Good post Mimi!!! We all know im super girlie, but I briefly went through a tomboy phase that lasted all about a yr when TLC came out!! hehe!! but even as a child I still liked to play with the trucks with the boys and watch He-man so I can relate a little. Just do you girl!! Thats all that matters!!! I personally like both sides!! :)
Oh and super cute pic!!!
Aww thank you!!!! See ur gonna make me cry!!!! Lol!!
Welcome to the wildside! Love that picture of you. that is too precious.
Cool blog. I know several ladies who share your views. It was interesting to read your take on it. Nothing wrong with a woman that doesn't like Pink.
It is so amazing to me how as we grow older in life the things that are revealed to us about our ownselves.
When I was a teen I thought I knew everything about everything. In my 20s I thought the same thing. By my 30s I realized I knew nothing and that was the beginning of my journey of discovery. May you find the journey as worthwhile as I do.
CCDreamz
Thanks Mo!! :-) Teflon Don, Puck Fink!!!!!! and the ladies you know must be cool as hell... ;-) @ CC: I so feel you on thinking you know it all and realizing you know nothing!! Last few years have really been about being open to discovering the real me and since I am always growing and learning it will be a life long journey but I am ready! I love the support yall, thanks so much for reading and your comments!
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