Sooooo...lotta bull shit runnin rampant on twitter these days so i figured i'd create a few tweetmandmandments to try to gain a lil control over my timeline...
I. THOU SHALT NOT BE A GROUPIE.
Ok so Trey Songz just tweeted one of his infamous "which one of yall" tweets... all of a sudden, chicks come out the woodwork tweeting this lil dude about all the dirty things they want to do to his lil body. Lots of panty creamin and mmmhmmms and yuuupps all over my damn timeline. Sweeties, yall all cant have him. Focus on the good dude right in front of your face and let Trigga be...
II. THOU SHALT NOT ASK ME TO PROMOTE YOUR WACK ASS MUSIC.
So everyone knows I like music and listen to it aaaall day.. I stay tweetin some lyric or some song. Been both followed and unfollowed for it even, but at no point did i EVER say I was a A@R for any music label nor did i say i was into free promotion. I have a lil handful of followers and I can understand you wanting whatever exposure you can get, but muthafuka atleast say hi before you ask me to RT a link to your shit and PLEASE make sure that its real music and not noise cuz I refuse to RT noise...
III. THOU SHALT NOT CHANGE YOUR PICTURE AND @ NAME IN THE SAME DAY.
This ones easy, shits confusing, I don't know who you are and it makes me feel like twitter just added folks to my timeline without my permission. SO STOP IT.
IV. THOU SHALT NOT SUBLIMINALLY TWEET SHIT YO ASS KNOWS YOU NEED TO ADDRESS DIRECTLY WITH THE PERSON YOU HAVE BEEF WITH.
Stop being a bitch already. There is nothing wrong with issue resolution. We are people, people have conflict, resolve that shit and move on. Quit tweeting about it hoping that the intended target sees it but doesn't confront you on it. BTW, the lil cutsie flirty subliminal messages are harmless so carry on with those, that's your biz.
V.THOU SHALT NOT HOE ON TWITTER AND BE MAD YOU ARE TREATED (OR TWEETED) AS SUCH.
You tweet how bad your cootie is throbbing and you wish you could have someone one beat it up and when one of your thousands of followers kindly offers to do just that, you wanna get all aggy... you kinda asked for that sugar.
VI.THOU SHALT NOT RETWEET EVERY CONVERSATION YOU HAVE.
MAAAAAAAAN, PLEASE hit REPLY, not RETWEET, (or thine ass shalt be unfollowed). I dont care that you think your friend is soooo funny and yall are sooooo cool.. I can take a few of those but not the whole damn convo.
VII. THOU SHALT CHANGE THINE AVI AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR.
pretty please with sugar on top?? wanna see a different side of you!
VIII. THOU SHALT ALWAYS RESPECT THE #.
#nuffsaid
IX.THOU SHALT NOT RT YOUR #FF MENTIONS CUZ I'M NEEEEEEVER FOLLOWING THOSE EMEFFS.
I know you got followers, I have a few myself but no need for you to RT those cuz I aint trying to clog my time line up with more BS.
X. THOU SHALT NOT UNFOLLOW ME THEM @REPLY ME!!!
Someone did that recently and it irritated me so i just figured id put it in here cuz I think that a stupid thing to do. And to that dude?? EFF YOU YO...
Anyway, now that you know my Tweetmandments, follow them carefully and all will be right in Lala land.
night folks!
-Lala
I. THOU SHALT NOT BE A GROUPIE.
Ok so Trey Songz just tweeted one of his infamous "which one of yall" tweets... all of a sudden, chicks come out the woodwork tweeting this lil dude about all the dirty things they want to do to his lil body. Lots of panty creamin and mmmhmmms and yuuupps all over my damn timeline. Sweeties, yall all cant have him. Focus on the good dude right in front of your face and let Trigga be...
II. THOU SHALT NOT ASK ME TO PROMOTE YOUR WACK ASS MUSIC.
So everyone knows I like music and listen to it aaaall day.. I stay tweetin some lyric or some song. Been both followed and unfollowed for it even, but at no point did i EVER say I was a A@R for any music label nor did i say i was into free promotion. I have a lil handful of followers and I can understand you wanting whatever exposure you can get, but muthafuka atleast say hi before you ask me to RT a link to your shit and PLEASE make sure that its real music and not noise cuz I refuse to RT noise...
III. THOU SHALT NOT CHANGE YOUR PICTURE AND @ NAME IN THE SAME DAY.
This ones easy, shits confusing, I don't know who you are and it makes me feel like twitter just added folks to my timeline without my permission. SO STOP IT.
IV. THOU SHALT NOT SUBLIMINALLY TWEET SHIT YO ASS KNOWS YOU NEED TO ADDRESS DIRECTLY WITH THE PERSON YOU HAVE BEEF WITH.
Stop being a bitch already. There is nothing wrong with issue resolution. We are people, people have conflict, resolve that shit and move on. Quit tweeting about it hoping that the intended target sees it but doesn't confront you on it. BTW, the lil cutsie flirty subliminal messages are harmless so carry on with those, that's your biz.
V.THOU SHALT NOT HOE ON TWITTER AND BE MAD YOU ARE TREATED (OR TWEETED) AS SUCH.
You tweet how bad your cootie is throbbing and you wish you could have someone one beat it up and when one of your thousands of followers kindly offers to do just that, you wanna get all aggy... you kinda asked for that sugar.
VI.THOU SHALT NOT RETWEET EVERY CONVERSATION YOU HAVE.
MAAAAAAAAN, PLEASE hit REPLY, not RETWEET, (or thine ass shalt be unfollowed). I dont care that you think your friend is soooo funny and yall are sooooo cool.. I can take a few of those but not the whole damn convo.
VII. THOU SHALT CHANGE THINE AVI AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR.
pretty please with sugar on top?? wanna see a different side of you!
VIII. THOU SHALT ALWAYS RESPECT THE #.
#nuffsaid
IX.THOU SHALT NOT RT YOUR #FF MENTIONS CUZ I'M NEEEEEEVER FOLLOWING THOSE EMEFFS.
I know you got followers, I have a few myself but no need for you to RT those cuz I aint trying to clog my time line up with more BS.
X. THOU SHALT NOT UNFOLLOW ME THEM @REPLY ME!!!
Someone did that recently and it irritated me so i just figured id put it in here cuz I think that a stupid thing to do. And to that dude?? EFF YOU YO...
Anyway, now that you know my Tweetmandments, follow them carefully and all will be right in Lala land.
night folks!
-Lala
5 comments:
Awesome. Just fucking grand!
Lmao!!! I love it and you know I hate the RT convos!!! You shoulda added getting mad at sublimnals when you do them as well!! lol!!!
:)
Lol! Thanks yall!! And i coulda went on and on, lol but kept it to 10... =)
I love it. These are so true! Especially the one about RTing a whole convo!! SO ANNOYING! AND when you RT when someone #FF's you. Congrats, someone wants other people to follow you.
Those were very good...you should add that people should never get upset when some butts into their convo. It is all out there anyway, I'll comment if I want. lol
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